Once upon a time, there was a someone who believed in too small a God. Every
time their trust was shattered or they were pulled into the land of loss, their heart was broken. Its beat became a little more hushed. Then, out of the blue sky, someone came with excited words about mustard seeds, and secrets hidden in the heart of death, and treasures found nowhere else but in the landscape of grief. The stranger said that God only breaks hearts open, and stretching His arms on a cross and rising from death showed them how. Once upon a time, someone had an understanding of God that blew their mind!
The Missionary, Edwina Gateley put it like this,
Sometimes, I remember, in a hushed moment, the daring of my youth. All I claimed and gathered in, built up and spread out - casting the word of God all over the world in a great young surge of missionary zeal.
Sometimes, I remember, in a hushed moment, the thousands of miles I
travelled. Crossing mountains, desert and bush land to far distant peoples,
inspiringly different and gloriously colourful.
Sometimes, I remember, in a hushed moment, how they moulded me,
giving me new voice and a deeper vision,
leaving me lonely amongst my own.
Sometimes, I remember, in a hushed and sacred moment,
How my small familiar God
Slipped from my hold
Like a doll
As I stumbled
Into the Divine Expanse.
Edwina Gateley, ' Growing into God' pp 52 -53 (2000)